November 30, 2008

This picture was taken one year ago today.  On this day, our family attended church together for the last time.  I remember taking Sarah into our meetings in her stroller while holding small baby Caroline in my arms.  Brian was busy attending to his church responsibilities.  The children and I sat together on a bench.  During the meeting I  had to leave the children for a few minutes to feed Caroline.  Soon after I left, Sarah was brought to me by a kind friend.  She sat next to me on my friend's lap while I cared for the baby.  Sarah asked if she could hold Caroline.  I sat her in a rocking chair and carefully placed Caroline in her arms.  A few other mothers were also busy feeding their babies.  Sarah then asked if she could hold their infants.  These sweet mothers, full of trust, placed their new babies one by one into the arms of Sarah.  It was a precious experience for all present. Oh, how Sarah loved babies!  This same day our family decorated the Christmas tree.  In this picture Sarah is holding a small pine cone ornament in her hand.  With a small baby sleeping on my shoulder and Sarah snuggled up peacefully in my arms, I knew it was a moment I would never forget.

I am thankful for...

my family

and a warm Thanksgiving meal!

A Special Find

I discovered this beautiful snow globe while shopping in Hallmark this afternoon.  It reminded me of Sarah.  Without hesitation Brian purchased the globe for me.  It features a lamp post which lights up and the sweet tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas."  This precious globe will remind me of Sarah's delight in watching Mickey Mouse Christmas videos, wearing her favorite Minnie Mouse pajamas, and the snow that fell the night after her passing. 

I am thankful for...

babies.

baby Nathan

baby Maren

baby Sarah

baby Caroline

I am thankful for...

  

friends.

"Next to a sense of a kinship with God comes the helpfulness, encouragement and inspiration of friends. Friendship is a sacred possession.  As air, water and sunshine are to flowers, trees and verdure, so smiles, sympathy and love of friends are to the daily life of man.   To live, laugh, love one's friends, and be loved by them is to bask in the sunshine of life."

~President David O. McKay

I am thankful for...

flowers that bloom in November.

I am thankful for...

the temple.

A holy place where a family can be joined 
together for time and all eternity.

I am thankful for...

my dear grandmothers.

I am thankful for...

this little cub.

Yams and Apples

As a child I remember my grandmother and mother preparing this delicious side dish for our Thanksgiving dinners.  Over the years this recipe has become a Thanksgiving tradition for our family.  Recipes that are passed down from generation to generation make this holiday meal so meaningful, especially for women who labor for hours planning and preparing a feast that will be enjoyed and remembered.  

Yams and Apples

6 medium yams

5 golden delicious apples

1 cup sugar

2 cups water

3 Tablespoons cornstarch

1 teaspoon salt

Juice of 1/2 lemon

1 cube of butter

Boil yams and cool.  Place peeled, sliced yams and peeled, sliced apples alternating in casserole dish starting with apples.  Combine remaining ingredients.  Cook until thickened then pour over yams and apples.  Sprinkle with cinnamon.  Bake at 350 degrees for one hour.  *I cut the yams in half and boil them with the skin on.  Allow them to cool for an hour or so, then with a small knife remove the skins and slice. 

My grandma Fay and mother Renee preparing our Thanksgiving feast in 1989.

Eleven Months

As I look out from the window in our family room and see the colors of Fall, I am reminded of events one year ago.  Sarah spent her remaining days in the family room resting on the recliner or lying on the couch.  Her weakness seemed to increase daily, but Sarah still smiled and found pleasure in simple things such as: her toy dog Rascal, her soft pink blanket, warm cookies and sippy cups filled with "Papa" (chocolate) milk or "bunny" (strawberry) milk, listening to peaceful music, watching Disney's classic episodes of Chip and Dale, and holding Caroline.  My favorite moments of the day were sitting next to Sarah while nursing the baby.  Sarah's little feet would rest on my legs.  We would talk about our favorite things and try to guess the color of rainbow flavored miniature marshmallows as we closed our eyes and put them in our mouths.  From the sofa we saw the same red and yellow colors in our backyard trees that I see today.

One year ago today I recorded the following in my journal.  "This afternoon the children and I sorted through a stack of photographs.  While looking through all of them I felt peace and happiness in my heart.  Sarah has had a wonderful three years on earth.  The pictures showed a very happy, well loved little girl!  How I will treasure these photographs for years to come."

Today I have found comfort looking through photographs taken in November of last year.  We had the opportunity to travel to Utah for Thanksgiving.  This was a special week to share with family.  We were grateful Sarah was well enough to travel.  She was so excited to visit with her cousins and grandparents.  Here are some of my favorite pictures taken during this week in Utah.

Grandma surprises the girls with new dresses

Sisters dancing to music

        

Watching a Christmas movie together

A tea party with Rascal and cousins Amelia and Madeline

Enjoying appetizers before our Thanksgiving feast

Sarah playing with Zoey

A quiet moment together

Our family on Thanksgiving Day

Butterflies in November

Beautiful monarch butterflies have found their way to our yard.  Each time I go outside I find at least one perched on a tree or flower.  While pushing Caroline in the backyard swing, I will often see one fly right in front of me as if to say, "Hello, I am here to bring you joy and gladness."  I always think of Sarah when I see a butterfly.  I imagine her sending these magnificant creatures our way to grace the yard with beauty and strengthen our hope.

Butterfly Memorial Poem

A rush of wings

they flutter high

to touch the sun

and kiss the sky

A butterfly

is with us now

No more a caterpillar

upon a leaf

Sarah with angel wings

A soaring butterfly

with us they sing.

~Lili Pintea-Reed   

Messenger of God

Oh, Little Butterfly

Messenger of God,

When I see you in the sky

I cannot help but nod.

You bring me respite

From grief and despair

Every time I see you

Sailing through the air.

You renew my faith

In God's wondrous plan,

And I know it's all in faith,

Not in what I understand.

~Kathryn Poland

Delighted with the flight of a butterfly,

Sarah squealed, "There's a butterfly on my finger!"