Saturday Night Stroll

This evening our family went for a walk around the lake near our home. This is a special place where we enjoy spending time together. We walk the lake's winding path daily. I think of Sarah when I am here. I remember how she loved to ride in her red wagon with a loaf of bread to feed the ducks. Tonight Nathan and Maren enjoyed throwing sticks in the water and climbing trees while I walked with Rascal and Brian pushed Caroline in the stroller.

The Power of Hope

Today at church we discussed the principle of hope. The teacher of our class taught a beautiful lesson from the most recent conference address given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf entitled, "The Infinite Power of Hope."

http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-947-7,00.html

During the lesson I was reminded of our experiences last August as we heard the news of Sarah's terminal brain cancer. I remember the pains I felt physically and emotionally as I tried to understand and accept why her precious life would be shortened. I remember feelings of despair as I tried to picture our family without our beautiful daughter. For comfort, I began to search the words of Latter-Day Prophets.

The Prophet Joseph Smith declared that "Parents who lose children to death will receive them in the resurrection just as they laid them down...and pointing to the mother of a lifeless child, he said to her: 'You will have the joy, the pleasure and satisfaction of nurturing this child, after its resurrection, until it reaches the full stature of its spirit.'" Knowing that I will be reunited with Sarah and have the joy of nurturing and caring for her brings me such comfort and hope.

President Uchtdorf reminds us of the power of hope, "The things we hope in sustain us during our daily walk. They uphold us through trials, temptations, and sorrow. Everyone has experienced discouragement and difficulty. Indeed there are times when the darkness may seem unbearable. It is in these times that the divine principles of the restored gospel we hope in can uphold us and carry us until, once again, we walk in the light."

I know through this most recent challenge of my daughter passing away, as well as other experiences I have had in life, that it is the gospel of Jesus Christ and my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that has blessed me with hope and faith. President Uchtdorf invites each of us to "Embrace and rely upon the Hope of Israel, for the love of the Son of God pierces all darkness, softens all sorrow, and gladdens every heart."

Family Photographs

This evening I came across the blog of Amy Jo, our family photographer. I scrolled down a few pictures and found one of our dear Sarah that I had not seen before. Seeing her happy countenance and smile touched my heart deeply. How grateful I am that we have priceless photographs to help keep memories alive. Pictures remind us of experiences and special moments we have shared. We are so grateful to our friend Amy Jo who has captured these precious moments.

http://www.amyjophoto.blogspot.com/

A Teacher in the Making

Fond memories of my childhood include playing school. My desire to be a teacher came early in life. I remember setting up a classroom fully equipped with desks and a chalkboard. My mother's laundry baskets were turned over and neatly lined up in rows for desks. Dolls, sisters or willing friends were the students. I spent countless hours teaching everything from the ABC's to math and music.

Maren has expressed her desire to also become a school teacher. Recently she asked if I would help her set up a classroom. To make the school room complete we needed to purchase a whiteboard. She and I made a trip to a local toy store where we found just what we were looking for. I was slightly overwhelmed when I opened the large box and noticed several screws and pages of directions for assembling the easel. I knew it was going to take more time than the allotted 30 minutes. I expressed to her the need to be patient as I may not have it finished before the baby woke up from her nap. She anxiously replied, "But Mama, you must work quickly! I have left my students with a substitute and they need me to return!"

Maren has enjoyed hours of instructing in her new classroom. Her students, Emily and Ruthie, are quite attentive and are excelling because of their talented little teacher.

Flowers and Sarah

Spring is here. Green buds are appearing on our trees, flowers are beginning to bloom and birds are chirping. The bright colors have replaced the bleakness of winter. This season brings a sense of hope and peace, rebirth and renewal.

Three months have passed since Sarah died. Flowers will always remind me of her. The Sunday before her passing I took her on a stroller ride around our neighborhood. We came upon a colorful patch of snapdragons. Sarah asked if I would pick some. I remember her request: "Pick the pink ones." We brought the flowers home and with a ribbon I tied them together and took a picture. Somehow I knew they would be the last we would pick together.

This week the snapdragons in our flowerbeds began to bloom, a sweet reminder of little Sarah and her love of flowers.

The Twins

Caroline (6 months) and Rascal (3 months) both enjoy lots of love and attention, a good meal, soft blankets, outside walks and chew toys.